Three Things

Everybody needs therapy. I don’t mean the “lie down on the couch and tell me your problems” type. What I mean is the type of therapy that goes straight to the soul and gets us through the days when we all wonder why we continue to try. I’m talking about the type that helps us, as the Bard said, to look on tempests without being shaken. How is it in a world where we have all these things to make our lives easier that they have become harder? Why is it that we have self esteem issues, financial issues, martial issues, and all these other things that make us get headaches? Have we walked the path so long that we have lost our way back to what is really important? Who erased the chalk marks on the wall? How do we find our place once more? I’m not sure how you do it, but I’ll tell you how I do it. I focus on three things. These things are odd, but I am an odd person. They are not cliché. I do not mean to talk expressively about family and friends, religion, or my job. Those things are truly at the core of all human beings and are far too complex for this essay. What I mean to write about are the simpler things that make the more complex things come into focus. It is about looking to the simple for higher inspiration. And with that, I submit to you my three things.

1. Going Barefoot:

It is a simple thing isn’t it? Taking off your shoes and just walking or sitting or playing “footsie” with your wife/husband is far underrated. Have you ever stopped to think about what the world has done to you with regards to this issue? Let me see if I have you pegged: You wake up in the morning, get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, go to work, come home, get undressed, go to bed…..rinse and repeat. Have you stopped to think that your feet literally never touch the ground? Yes you walk on carpet, but you are never rooted to the dust from whence you came. There is something to be said about feeling the ground, the real ground, underneath your feet. Grass, or dirt, gives us that connection to creation that makes me remember why I’m here and just how fleeting my life is. It makes me feel real and absent from the artificial. It makes me remember that I came into this world barefooted, and that I’ll go out of it barefooted. It makes me remember the first steps of my daughter. It makes me feel a little more at home in a world that I don’t feel at home in at all. This is not some “bra burning, hippie” thing; it is about roots to the creation. It extends to everything we are and speaks to our core being. The next time it snows, try walking out to your mailbox with no shoes. If that doesn’t make you feel alive, you are truly beyond help.

2. Smiling in the Mirror

So many of us look in the mirror and don’t like what we see. We see fat people, ugly people, old wrinkly people, unhappy people or inadequate people. Some of us look and see how pretty we are and get eaten by vanity. I see all these things from time to time too, but I do something a little different. I smile at myself in the mirror. I do not do this out of insanity or vanity. I do it because the fellow in that mirror could use a smile. Have you ever randomly smiled at a stranger? What happens when you do? They usually smile back. When I smile in the mirror, the guy in there always smiles back. Do we truly understand that some people never see a smile? Sometimes the smiles I give to people are the only ones they have seen all day. I know how it makes me feel when someone smiles at me. With that said, what better thing to do for yourself than to smile into the mirror. I look Tom right in the eye and smile at him because I have a sense of self worth and acceptance. The fellow in there has flaws both physical and spiritual, but as a whole I see a guy who is trying his dead level best to be a good Christian, father, step-dad, husband, man, mentor, teacher, friend, comedian, writer, singer, leader, photographer, business owner, expert MMO player, grill master, artist, deacon, lover, and human being. Of course I sometimes see an ugly, fat, sinner, but I am reminded that the earth is a sphere. East is always East. West is always West. North turns into South, and South turns into North if you keep going far enough. I smile because we are told that God will cast our sins as far as the East is from the West if we ask him. He didn’t say North or South for a reason. I’ve asked Him to do this for me. It gives me a reason to smile at myself in the mirror. It helps me to know that I never have to double back on my own mistakes. I can let them go and smile.

3. Basking in Silence and Solitude

Silence and solitude are both odd things for me. They are my reset button. I revel in them. I recharge in them. Some would see the things I do as crazy, but I wonder how many others do the same things but fear to admit to them. 3:00 AM will often find me roaming the darkness of my home. Sometimes I’m up and I cruise the rooms of my house. I go to my children’s rooms and look at them. I make sure they are breathing, safe, and warm. I look at my wife and trace the line of her jaw gently with my fingers. Then, I listen to the house. I listen to the immense silence that rises up at this time of day. I bask in the lonely darkness, and I recharge. Solitude must be had to appreciate community. Even Superman had a fortress of solitude. It is in these moments that I can hear my heart and feel the thankfulness rise up in me for all that I have. I have a home, simple as it is, filled with stuff I really don’t need but filled with people that I really do. I sometimes go look at the stars and tremble in awe at the sight of them. I’m so small, yet there is only one of me. The piercing clarity of these moments creates a sharp pathway straight to my soul. It lets me take things out and examine them in ways I can’t do any other time. It is like Mr. Life just comes and visits me at these times and brings his friends Appreciation and Humility with him. Solitude only speaks in silence. It is in this moment that I understand what: “Be still and know that I am God.” really means.
And then….I can face the music.