Tom’s Take on Twilight: New Moon

If you are a 13-15 year old girl this review does not apply to you. Somewhere underneath the surface of this beautifully shot movie there is a plot. However, I can’t find it. Chris Weitz’s directing is reasonably good as far as the look of the movie goes. It does have the moody, angst, overcast setting that makes these films work. The werewolves look like big CGI monsters that you’d like to pet. There are even a few comedic one liners that might get a quick chuckle. Unfortunately, that is where the good stops and the massive amounts of bad starts. The basic premise of the film is silly to the extreme. Edward decides that he must leave his love, Bella, to ensure her safety and to give her a chance at a normal life. Yet, when he leaves her, she spends most of her time screaming out nightmares. (I wish my ex-girlfriends had missed me that much.) The overblown acting here is, in a word, horrible. The irony here is that once he leaves her the only way she can “see” him is if she puts herself into serious physical jeopardy. Thus, he leaves to keep her safe only to make her place herself in more danger than ever. Clearly, Edward needs a new brain. This is also a concern considering the “red headed vampire of death” is out to kill her. Edward leaves so Bella can be safe. What he does is leave her to the mercy of “killer red.” (A very wasted villain if you ask me.) On top of this, when putz Edward calls Bella and wolf man Jacob tells him that Bella’s dad is “arranging for a funeral,” he hangs up the phone. Without checking his sources, he decides that he must, in teenage style angst, kill himself. What an idiot! One would think that after 109 years he might have grown out of teenage melodrama. This is silly beyond words. Somehow Bella is able to fly across the world and in the nick of time save him from exposing himself to the mundanes. However, we do get a good shot of Edwards pale naked top half. This gratitudious flesh festival does not compare to wolf man Jacob’s “Chip-n-Dale” shirt rip to dab a small amount of blood from Bella’s motorcycle wreck, head wound. I actually heard the mostly female audience’s sharp intake of breath and giddy stifled laughter when this occurred. We are told that women are stimulated in an emotional manner not a visual one. I do not buy this at all. As the movie crawls and lurches to a close, we get to see the over stylized council of old vampires who look more like old gay fashion rejects. The movie makes an attempt to be intense here with a fight to save Bella, and we get a prophecy that stays the hand of the council. One day Bella will become one of them. This leads to the most comically tragic scene, via a prophetic vision, in the movie with Edward chasing Bella in the sunlit forest sparkles aglow on both of them. I fully expected singing animals or seven dwarves at this moment. One word: Barf! In short, this movie looks good and is shot with great visuals. (And I don’t mean the bare chest studs either.) However, the plot (or lack thereof) and the overblown melodrama is almost wretch worthy.

I give Twilight: New Moon ½ of a star for good cinematography. Save your money folks, and buy a poster of wolf man Taylor Lautner with his shirt off. It’ll be cheaper and last a lot longer.

Why the World Needs Star Trek Right Now

The new movie is out to glorious reviews. I could not agree more. What a wonderful film this is! I could review the film with glowing prose and tearful joy at how wonderful it is. I could tell you that the sound, the lighting, the pacing, the sequences, are all perfect. (They are by the way.) I could tell you that the actors absolutely NAILED their parts and that it is different enough to be original and traditional enough to be respectful. I could sing the praises of this film for about three weeks straight. However, I’m not going that route this time. This movie deserves so much more.

I think that the Star Trek film reflects what American society needs right now. We have a war to contend with, a failing economy, swine flu, and the list goes on and on. Star Trek does not go the route that Battlestar Galactica did in its pointed portrayal of humanity in all its fallen and desperate, depressing state. While Galactica offered some hope for us at the end of the series, it was largely dark and brooding and…well…scary. That has its place and everyone who knows me understands how much I love BSG. However, the new Star Trek takes a different route. The movie returns to its roots and offers an almost joyous sense of optimism without being preachy or over the top. There is a sense that humanity just might be alright after all if we can reach inside and past our fallen natures. There is still good waiting to be harvested. Trek gives joy to adventure once more and excitement that is tempered with humor and drama. Even if this sense of hope for humanity is unrealistic or even if this hope is false, the movie gives a glimpse at what is great about human beings. We seek out strange new “anythings.” We boldly go where no one has gone before. In short, we are the movers and shakers of the universe. It is how God made us. We should sense that created nobility that we all have. Trek is the right movie at the right time. It offers optimism in the face of difficult days.

Silly Liberals, Moments of Silence…uh…Silenced

"The statute is a subtle effort to force students at impressionable ages to contemplate religion."
-U.S. District Judge Robert W. Gettleman

The moment of silence has once again left the school system. Are we surprised? Nope, not a bit. Heaven forbid, excuse the reference, that we would ever have a time of thoughtful reflection in our public schools. Silence in schools? What a concept! The dastardly thirty seconds of noiseless bliss could harm our children and cause them to become Bible thumping, witch burning, sexual repressed, bigots. We can’t have that! I wonder if the folks opposed to the moment of silence will be offended when I tell my students to be quiet and think. Perhaps I could put it this way:

“If you feel that it would be appropriate for you, and you do not find it personally offensive, would you please take a moment to be quiet and think about the assignment.”

Now, I realize that this is not the same thing as the prayer, meditation, blank staring, etc. that the official state mandated silent time was. The point I make is that our court systems and a few mentally challenged liberals are threatened by a moment of silence. Silence! No noise is a scary thing I suppose. Why if we have that, then students might learn a bit of self control and perhaps they will use the time to think. There is the off hand chance that religious students might pray to God or Allah, meditate, chant in their heads or focus inwardly. They could even pray to Satan if they wanted to do so. Jehovah Witnesses could plan their next “door to door” in their minds. Scientologists could purge the ingrams of departed space aliens. Atheists could….be quiet. They could check out the cute girls, mentally plan their next bar hopping puke-a-thon, or think about how much they hate Christians.

What astonishes me is the fact that the powers of our court systems bow to these few folks who squeal and whine when they don’t like something. I find it ridiculous that my own liberal union would likely spend thousands to defend my rights, if I so chose, to wear a hoop earring hanging from my nose, while dressed in drag and high heels, humming “Sweet Transvestite from Transylvania” as I passed out condoms to Kindergarteners! But a moment of silence….we can’t have that! What a Godless, screwed up world we live in. I, for one, will take all the silent moments I can get. There are so few. And I thank GOD for those!

Respects,
(Grammar rules violated blatantly for dramatic purposes.)

The Redistribution of Wealth Liberal Love or Stupid Notion?

“I am for doing good to the poor, but I differ in opinion of the means. I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. In my youth I traveled much, and I observed in different countries, that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. And, on the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves, and became richer.”

- Ben Franklin

What does President Barack Hussein Obama mean when he makes statements about our tax dollars? He wants them to be “spread around better.” What this means is more of the dirty word Obama avoids like the plague: “welfare.” He already did this in my state in Chicago. He now wants to do it all through America.

Let me see if I have all the steps in place:

1. Give tax breaks to 95% of Americans that will amount to about what Bush gave for an economy stimulation check.
2. Tax those that make $250,000 around 45%.
3. Cripple the small businessman as a result.
4. Cause the small businessman to either go out of business, lay off workers, or charge more.
5. Pass the cost of this on to those that were given the tax cut in the first place.
6. Those who were given a tax cut pay more for things that they purchase than the amount of the tax cut they originally received.
7. Net result: The redistribution of wealth FAILS utterly, and the economy gets even worse.

This is like setting someone on fire to cure acne. Why do liberals think this sort of nutty idea will work? It makes no sense. Are Liberals so pitiful that they think I somehow owe them a living? It seems so to me. How much is enough?

Here is an idea:

Get a job.
Work hard.
Stop complaining that you don’t have as much as your neighbor.
Stop being a victim.
Start depending on your God given talents.
Stop whining.
Allow capitalism to work.


In short, I dislike the notion of my tax dollars going to keep up the American BUM association. If you’re sick or crippled or otherwise handicapped, that is one thing; if you are too lazy to get off the couch or think you are too good to work at McDonald’s that is something else. Starvation is a big motivator. We need to stop enabling these people. It shows them no dignity and teaches them helplessness. Certainly we need social programs; however, we do not need to program people socially. If President Obama thinks this is a good idea, I would be very interested to see what he thinks about Communism.