Silly Liberals, Moments of Silence…uh…Silenced

"The statute is a subtle effort to force students at impressionable ages to contemplate religion."
-U.S. District Judge Robert W. Gettleman

The moment of silence has once again left the school system. Are we surprised? Nope, not a bit. Heaven forbid, excuse the reference, that we would ever have a time of thoughtful reflection in our public schools. Silence in schools? What a concept! The dastardly thirty seconds of noiseless bliss could harm our children and cause them to become Bible thumping, witch burning, sexual repressed, bigots. We can’t have that! I wonder if the folks opposed to the moment of silence will be offended when I tell my students to be quiet and think. Perhaps I could put it this way:

“If you feel that it would be appropriate for you, and you do not find it personally offensive, would you please take a moment to be quiet and think about the assignment.”

Now, I realize that this is not the same thing as the prayer, meditation, blank staring, etc. that the official state mandated silent time was. The point I make is that our court systems and a few mentally challenged liberals are threatened by a moment of silence. Silence! No noise is a scary thing I suppose. Why if we have that, then students might learn a bit of self control and perhaps they will use the time to think. There is the off hand chance that religious students might pray to God or Allah, meditate, chant in their heads or focus inwardly. They could even pray to Satan if they wanted to do so. Jehovah Witnesses could plan their next “door to door” in their minds. Scientologists could purge the ingrams of departed space aliens. Atheists could….be quiet. They could check out the cute girls, mentally plan their next bar hopping puke-a-thon, or think about how much they hate Christians.

What astonishes me is the fact that the powers of our court systems bow to these few folks who squeal and whine when they don’t like something. I find it ridiculous that my own liberal union would likely spend thousands to defend my rights, if I so chose, to wear a hoop earring hanging from my nose, while dressed in drag and high heels, humming “Sweet Transvestite from Transylvania” as I passed out condoms to Kindergarteners! But a moment of silence….we can’t have that! What a Godless, screwed up world we live in. I, for one, will take all the silent moments I can get. There are so few. And I thank GOD for those!

Respects,
(Grammar rules violated blatantly for dramatic purposes.)